CELEBRITY KIDS

Everyone Mistook Denzel Washington’s 21-Year-Old Daughter for His 62-Year-Old Wife Last Night

 Caity Weaver

What an exciting stage in Olivia Washington's life. Old enough to enjoy a glamorous 3-hour awards show without squirming. Old enough to "get" all the jokes in the monologue. Old enough to sip champagne at a table full of stars. Old enough to be mistaken as her father's romantic partner all night.

Denzel Washington made the sweet decision to bring his 21-year-old daughter, Olivia, to the Golden Globes as his date last night, then spent the entire evening explaining to people that, no, she was not his 62-year-old wife, Pauletta.

"IT'S NOT MY WIFE, PAULETTA," he warned Ryan Seacrest, before the used car salesman to the stars had even finished greeting him.

"Denzel's wife looks bored," observed Twitter.

"An earlier version of the caption with this photo incorrectly identified Denzel Washington's daughter as his wife," apologized The New York Times, "and misspelled Mr. Washington's surname." (How? Washingtonn? Ouashington?)

Luckily, Olivia seemed to take it in stride, giggling good naturedly as her father explained to Ryan Seacrest that she was not a person he had ever had sex with.

Just classic dad stuff.

[Image via Getty]

18 Severed Human Heads Discovered in Package at Airport; Everyone Being Very Chill About It

 Caity Weaver

Officials at Chicago's O'Hare Airport intercepted a package containing eighteen severed human heads a couple week ago, and are getting a little tired of everyone acting like it's weird.

"Everybody here is ‘Oh my gosh, you got a box of heads,'" Department of Homeland Security spokesman Brian Bell said to the Chicago Sun-Times, "and everybody thinks that it's unheard of."

We're with you, Brian. It's like, chill out, nerds. Yo, Brian, you want to go to the corner store to buy cigarettes? I steal money from my mom's purse all the time, no big deal, I'm not scared of the heads either.

Local news outlets are reporting that the eighteen heads are "still covered in skin," which is probably what you were already picturing, but isn't it creepy to have them specifically described that way?

The heads are said to have been shipped to Chicago from Italy, a country with many heads.

Authorities believe these ones were medical specimens intended for use in a scientific research or medical experiment.

They're currently in the process of verifying that the heads have proper documentation.

Foul play is not suspected in the collection of the 18 severed heads.

[Chicago Sun-Times / FOX 32 News // Image via Shutterstock]

ITNews Networking

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Find All Humans on Earth Who Like Trail Running with Facebook's New Magic Search Engine

We've all been there: It's a Tuesday morning and you've got a hankering for some trail running. But your wilderness survival class taught you never to trail run alone. What do you do? With Facebook's new search engine, you can instantly use your computer to search for anyone on earth who likes trail running. (You can also find other things. But why would you want to?)

Click to viewSince the beginning of time, humans have wanted to find other humans to go trail running with them. But they were mostly SOL. The only way to find a trail running companion was to physically hike onto a trail, trip someone who was running on it with a tripwire, kidnap them, tie them up in your basement and blast AC/DC at them 24/7 from massive speakers until they got disoriented enough to agree to go trail running with you.

Facebook's new graph search, unveiled today before hundreds of tech reporters at their Menlo Park headquarters, aims to change all this. Be sure to check out the video to the left. (Menlo Park is, of course, known for its trail running.) Graph search mines Facebook's massive database of interests, people, photos and places, and replaces the old busted search function of Facebook which was pretty much useless if you were looking for someone to traipse along a rugged wilderness path. In fact, I just typed "trail running" into Facebook's old search bar and it brought me to a generic page that explained "Trail running is a sport which consists of running and hiking over trails." No crap, sherlock—this is why it's awesome.

You can use graph search in four main areas of Facebook, according to CNN: People, photos, places and interests. Here are just a few of the questions Facebook graph search can answer

• Which of my friends who live in my area like trail running?
• Can you find pictures of me trail running in 2010?
• What restaurants do people who like trail running also like?
• Are there any people on earth named T. Rail Running? Because that would be hilarious.
• There are some sensitive privacy issues, of course. Luckily Facebook Graph Search is "privacy-aware" which means if you haven't come out to your friends and family as an avid trail runner, your status won't show up in Graph Searches. With Facebook Graph Search, the age-old dream of all of humanity networked together into a giant global brain, operating giant global legs, running along the trail of the Universe to a tripped-out soundtrack of Sigur Ros, is that much closer.

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